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Joke of the Day
"I can't be the only person who hears the phone ringing and says ""oh fuck, what NOW?"""
Next Joke
"What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden engine? It wooden go"
"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
"Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh...standby I'll check on that."
"these raccoons are a bad influence on me"
"Why does the zoo only have dogs? Because they shot the gorilla"
"Why do Jews have big noses? Why not? Air is free anyway!"
"Three guys walk into a bar... ...the bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""
"GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends! ANTS: Hooray! ANGEL: Ok next creation ... The anteater. ANTS: The what now?"
"People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but... i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come"