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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when a gangster kills his friend? A Homie-cide"

"Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I'm the asshole for tripping him??"

"Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount."

"This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts"

"LPT: If you want to pick up wet girls go around driving while its raining and offer if they need a ride"

"Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun Get in the van"

"How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?"

"Pluto is 4.5 billion years old, but yet it is not allowed to sit at the grown-ups' table."

"I wrote down a joke about prepositional phrases But I can't remember where I left the paper at."

"Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back"