157670
Joke of the Day
"I once opened a box of Life. All I found was disappointment."
Next Joke
"Blockbuster Joke George Lucas, Peter Jackson and James Cameron walk into a bar. George Lucas orders a cosmo. Peter Jackson orders a fine Sauvignon Blanc. James Cameron orders them both to shut up."
"A boy to his mother: Do you know how much suffering the poor beast had to endure for you to get this fur coat? My boy, you mustn't talk so disrespectfully about your father."
"Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT"
"What's a dick's favorite song? You're so vein."
"Why do people say half a dozen? Why can't they just say Six"
"What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub? a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul."
"Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel."
"I just sent a text that says ""we really need to talk"" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today."
"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing"