54866

Joke of the Day

"What I've learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh."

"What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but only if the lightbulb really *wants* to change."

"What do you call an envious ocean? A jealou'sea'"

"People forget that Hitler also invented those subscription cards that fall out of magazines."

"Words to live by What doesn't kill you, isn't in Australia"

"For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her."

"I saw a fat guy with a ""M.O.B."" tattoo on his arm. I asked ""money over b*tches?"" He said ""No, McDonalds over Burger King."

"Google introduced a new smartphone alarm that can wake users up on the subway so they don't miss their stop. As opposed to the alarm they use now: getting elbowed by the stranger they're drooling on."

"What's the opposite of a cock blocker? A Rooster Booster"