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Joke of the Day

"Honey, can we eat the nougat ? ""Is it really hard ?"" ""Yes, but can we eat the nougat first ?"""

"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? (First) He kept getting nailed to the boards."

"I'd be super bummed if my Prince Charming rode in on a white horse because you'd think he could at least afford a Kia"

"I'm single with no kids. I don't answer to anyone. ""Meow."" Okay! I'm opening the can now! Please don't shred the toilet paper again!"

"I got a new one for you. You know how I can tell if the government smokes the pot the DEA seizes? THEY'RE paranoid and OUR rights are being taken away."

"I sleep with a water gun near my bed, in case of cat burglar."

"My stainless steel scissor rusted How ironic."

"Have you heard about the new up and coming racially biased dice game? They're calling it nazi"

"Moses was the first hippie. He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good."

"Maybe just don't throw stones in any kind of house."