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Joke of the Day

"Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!"

"Confusing the word, ""jacuzzi"" with, ""yakuza"" has gotten me in hot water with the Japanese mafia more than once."

"What's an Australian Kiss? A French kiss down under ;) *first post here, a coworker of mine told me the joke. Go easy :)*"

"""Oh, this one? It's an excuse to tell a story about my life that only I think is interesting"" - literally all tattoos"

"Apparently even if you delete the drunk text messages you sent last night from your phone, the other person can still see them."

"""Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!"" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]"

"What's the most popular sport in Mexico? Cross-country."

"When you go to a cannibal restaurant, always bring a friend to have for dinner."

"I still have no idea what the fuck Grape Nuts are supposed to be."

"""What about flying rats with no poop muscles and scissors for mouths?"" - God creating birds"