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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!"

"Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday...Satan slips that one in. He's a sneaky bastard."

"What do you call the ticket to get into a giant space station shaped like a vagina? A cunt-astro-fee!"

"Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 Ho's (sorry if it's a re-post)"

"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney :("

"Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender."

"she loves me [takes bite of hotdog] she loves me not [takes another bite of hotdog]"

"Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling."

"What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot... Mitosis"

"What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive. "