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Joke of the Day

"I'm more optimistic than most. Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full. I'd say ""Hey, That's a nice glass!"""

Next Joke
 
"What is your best orphan/dark joke? This will hopefully be sfw but my have strong words."
"Times are tough, my daughter just repossessed a paper airplane she made me, over a quarter I owed her from yesterday"
"What's the deal with airplane peanuts? I mean, seriously, are they seeing anyone?"
"During a job interview yestarday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer, I simply replied ""No I always give 110%"""
"""Honey the baby is crowning!"" *Lifts up hospital gown* ""Well excuse me YOUR MAJESTY!"""
"What do you tell a woman with black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."
"Why did the Chicken come to /r/jokes? [To be buried](http://www.reddit.com/r/antiantiantijokes/comments/3bccyc/the_chicken_sat_far_from_the_road_considering_its/)"
"There's no such thing as coincidence? I'm confused. If there is no such thing why did they name it? Coincidence? I think not Xx"
"How do cows go from one town to another? they cowmmute."