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Joke of the Day

"Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land."

"My dog was diagnosed with diabetes. Its okay though, I only had to give her one shot. I chose a .357 magnum."

"A priest and a rabbi walk into the bar. The bar tender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Some people have hauntingly good looks. Not you though, you're just really scary looking."

"Sex in front of a mirror. I really see myself doing it."

"what idiot called it a chicken instead of an eggplant"

"me: wow the stars are beautiful gf: omg babe they really are me: u know who else is beautiful? gf: *blushes* who? :3 me: Harambe"

"Have you heard the latest joke about physicists? It collapsed into a black hole."

"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"

"Well, well, well. Looks like I may have a lawsuit on my hands: a gynecologist refused to treat me, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm gay."