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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*"

"How do you fix a pumpkin With a pumpkin patch... I'm so sorry."

"Columbia have already begun their preparations for the upcoming match against Uruguay. The entire squad are set to have tetanus and rabies jabs."

"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."

"What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread? Its going to be all rye."

"Gaining weight from drinking so much water? Drink lighter fluid"

"Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning. Facebook: Be the first person to like this."

"What do you call a Filipino Contortionist? A Manila folder."

"I'm gonna be celebrating MLK the only way I know how... By napping, because you can't have a dream if you aint sleeping."

"Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected."