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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Filipino Contortionist? A Manila folder."

"How do you keep a Turkey in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"I was going to go check out r/TwoX..... but it's just a bunch of pussies there"

"The only thing worse than girls going after the ""Bad Boy"" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is."

"[3 AM] 5yo: *sobbing* Daddy Me: Ughhh..yes, sweetheart, what's wrong? 5yo: I'm lonely... Me: Then, don't ever get married. 5yo: Ok, Daddy."

"three elephants fall of a cliff two hit the sand and one hits the ocean.badabum tsch"

"TIFU by ordering the wrong sandwich for my wife. Oops, wrong sub. Edit: Turns out this has been posted before :("

"I used to have a job impersonating a German composer. Bach in the day!. (I take no credit for this - as I read it in a magazine)"

"Sundays always bring out my inner senior citizen...."

"How do you get out of an elephant? Q: How do you get out of an elephant? A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)"