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Joke of the Day
"Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight."
Next Joke
"""Nice place!"" Mmmehh ""Hungry?"" Mmmehh ""You look nice."" Mmmehh ""DO I EVEN MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?"" Mmmehh ""Mom told me not to date a goat."""
"*puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that"
"You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."
"As told to me by my 5y/o nephew at the dinner table... Why did the elephant cross the road?   Because he farted!"
"""American Pie"" ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp."
"When I first went on the pill, I put on a bit of weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive."
"A drunk man walks up to an Englishman pissing on a tree... And says, ""Yurr ahh.... European!"""
"Knock Knock Who's there? Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly who? Peanut butter jelly you!"
"Can you fly a black hawk? Can the popes di*k fit through a donut."