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Joke of the Day

"I'm Going to stuff your stocking good.Wink. Wink."

"I lost over 100 pounds in the last week. The casinos here in London have terrible odds."

"WARNING: I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND BUT I MIGHT STEAL YOUR CAT"

"You know the Yahoo hack is not that bad... at least someone knows my password to my Yahoo account."

"Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls? Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts."

"Why did the scarecrow receive a prize? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

"A pirate with two peg legs walks into a bar... The bartender looks up from his newspaper and says ""you're cut off."""

"Glue Sticks... I was walking through an arts and crafts shop when I saw a sign saying, ""Glue Sticks.""I thought, ""No shit."""

"Two gentlemen walk into a bar.... You would have thought one of them would have seen it."