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Joke of the Day
"WARNING: I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND BUT I MIGHT STEAL YOUR CAT"
Next Joke
"""That sucked."" -Elephants who just saw The Peanuts Movie"
"I hate when Netflix asks if I'm still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?"
"Congratulations Apple on releasing the new 6s I bet it's going to be a big 6s."
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I don't know how they got in there"
"Did you know that pigeons die after they have sex? At least the one I fucked did."
"I just got a new hearse Everyone is dying to take a ride in it"
"What do you call a hooker's fart? ... ... A Prosti- Toot!"
"My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song."
"Ok so the Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense."