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Joke of the Day

"Why was Adele underneath a cow? So she could say ""hello from the udder side"""

"Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!"

"I was in the supermarket today and the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they needed help packing their bags Fuck me, we only voted out yesterday give them a chance"

"Mary's doctor told her she was allergic to latex ""Oh no, I'm so fucked!"" She responded, shocked at the news ""I'm afraid not."" said the doctor as he left with a grin."

"What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion."

"How Do You Call 5 Black People Having Sex? Threesome."

"Why do engineering majors refer to themselves ""engineers""? You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas"

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."

"My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell ""ARF, ARF"" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth"

"What's the difference between Bono and Jesus? Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono."