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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!"

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"If I mess up at the beginning of a video game I just start over. This rule applies to life too. Used wrong exit on Fwy, calling it a day..."

"[rose from the movie titanic a couple years later sitting on crowded bus] excuse me, can you slide over so I ca- ""NO, there's no room"""

"What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI? They both were recently ironed."

"That awkward movement when you... read movement as moment."

"Never gonna invite Jesus for another bondage party Last time around, he forgot his safe word and we had to bury his sorry ass."

"Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die"

"Why don't seagulls fly over bays? because then they'd be called bagels!"