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Joke of the Day

"(calling) 'Hey Boss, what's the difference between work and your daughter?' 'I'm not coming into work today'"

"Why do they call chicken wings, chicken wings? Cuz they go flyin' out of your butt after you eat them!"

"What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground."

"Dad: Look at this cute photo of my baby Just kidding, this isn't freaking Facebook!"

"Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook not everyone wants to see you happy."

"I have never seen the movie Titanic and I never plan to because a friend spoiled the ending for me The boat sinks. Credit to u/Donkey__Xote for this beautiful comment in an r/AskReddit thread"

"Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?"

"Vodka isn't the answer to my problems but its worth a shot"

"The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism."

"I wish that Game of Thrones was on Twitter So George RR had to limit it to less than 140 characters."