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Joke of the Day

"""Yeah can I have a triple bacon cheeseburger..."" *sees Grim Reaper in passenger seat* *sigh* ""and can you put lettuce and tomato on that?"""

"What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables? The wheelchairs!"

"Man walks into library & asks if they have any books on bukkake. The librarian replies, ""A lot of people come for that."""

"Chemists do it on the table... Periodically."

"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" He doesn't react."

"What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France? Linoleum Blownapart"

"What do you call a doctor who is always available? An oncallogist."

"[NSFU] Bill Gates' penis... What does his wife call it? Microsoft."

"Holmes said to his brother, ""Mycroft, all this heroin that Watson administers is making me terribly constipated."" And Mycroft responded, ""No shit, Sherlock?"""

"If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously."