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Joke of the Day

"NSA's pick up lines: ""Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location"" ""I'd tap that"" ""I know exactly where you have been all my life"""

"How do people in Nor Cal get around? Hella copters"

"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."

"Whenever a woman says ""how are you different from other men?"" I normally respond with ""I'm fucking hilarious."" @MaleHonesty86"

"Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? nevermind its so cheesy"

"Did you hear about the basketball tournament in Mexico? Its Juan vs. Juan"

"My girlfriend broke up with me over my obsession with linkin park. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"What is the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating? Your Ears."

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to pour the wine, and one to say 'marvelous, simply marvelous!'"

"How is Hillary Clinton and a high class prostitute different? Rich people pay the prostitute to fuck them, they pay Hillary Clinton to fuck everyone else."