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Joke of the Day

"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."

"We are all God`s children... so why is Jesus so special? thanks to Jimmy Carr for this one"

"What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"

"BLONDE COUNTING Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"*shakes brain like an Etch-A-Sketch*"

"I wouldn't step onto a plane with thrust issues."

"Careers Advisor to American student: ""What do you want to be when you leave college?"" Student: ""Alive""."

"A great sun/boob analogy Boobs are like the sun. They keep you warm and make you happy, but stare directly at it and you are in trouble."

"My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he wanted."

"Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?"