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Joke of the Day

"Why would anyone want to shoot themselves or others when we live in a world where weed, titties, Game of Thrones and free music exists?"

"My girlfriend has twelve breasts. It seems kind of freaky, dozen-tit?"

"I am amazing at managing my credit card. My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding"

"Kill someone with an icecream cone and eat it afterward. They can't convict with no murder weapon. It's the perfect crime. Plus, ice cream."

"i know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"

"How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe"

"Why is the letter N the most powerful letter? Because it is in the middle of TNT."

"Why don't orphans play professional Baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Earlier today I walked by a PERFECTLY S-shaped dog turd & didn't tweet a photo of it so I guess what I'm saying is that I'm growin up, guys"

"""I don't believe in hyperbole,"" she said while consuming an entire horse."