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Joke of the Day

"No adult entertainment companies around here that offer fireman strippers, so we're starting a fire and hoping a slutty one shows up."

"saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stras Innjrden he opens a Fonstrvivig"

"Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it."

"A man asked his mother ""How will I ever find the right woman?"" She replied ""Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."""

"Did you hear the one about Dorian Gray's stool sample? That shit NEVER gets old."

"If Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman had a baby together, what would the kid be like? I know there's a joke in there somewhere..."

"*family meeting at Noah's house* who wants us to do what by when?"

"*Lowers raised hand. Where's the nearest cycle path you meant? Thought you said psychopath."

"What's the difference between an oyster with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? Well, one you shuck between the fits and the other..."

"The fun way to tell if a celebrity is crazy is by how many times they delete and reactivate their Twitter account."