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Joke of the Day

"Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. The ones who know binary and the ones who don't."

"Two cats are swimming across a river One's name is ""one two three"", and the other's name is ""Un deux trois"". One two three made it across but Un deux trois cat sank"

"Psychic: *rubbing temples* You want to know if your wife's trying to murder you Me: How'd you know? P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good"

"Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?? Because Freedom rings! Happy Birthday U.S!"

"Dear lord thank you for these noodles I'm about to eat, ramen"

"What does Joe Pesci order at Burger King? An angry wopper."

"There's two types of people in this world: those who finish their sentences,"

"What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car? Dual air bags."

"If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future."