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Joke of the Day

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. The ones who know binary and the ones who don't."

"From a shark's perspective, Jaws is a lot like Home Alone."

"INTERVIEWER: You put ""summoning demons"" as a special skill? ME: That's right. INTERVIEWER: *sweating profusely* When can you start?"

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with feminists."

"Women wake up yawning while men wake up with an erection. Coincidence?? I think NOT"

"My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish... She would dress like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"Did you know that jewish people have a higher risk of getting a cavity? There saliva can be very Hassidic."

"Pedophiles 2 in 3 people live next to a pedohpile. I don't. I live next to 2 smoking hot 8-year olds."

"Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!"

"Coworker: ""How was your weekend?"" Me: ""You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."""