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Joke of the Day

"If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future."

"I made half a cup of tea the other day... It was so nice I had two."

"Music makes every day better, especially if you turn it up just loud enough to drown out all the people around you."

"Why is a woman lie a hurricane? When she comes she's wet and wild, but when she leaves she takes the house, the car and the kids..."

"What did the cow say to the horse? Mooooooo"

"What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway."

"I am conducting a survey to see who is the most awesome person on Facebook. To find out who it is read the first two words of this status."

"Google Moon is NOT what I thought it would be. *pulls up pants"

"in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone"

"Damn apple just donated a bunch of ipads to kids in africa The only app on it was ''Where's my water''"