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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."

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"I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them."
"Man who run behind truck... get exhausted!"
"What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights? Drive faster."
"What do you call a Jihadist that loves turkey? A Tryptophanatic."
"video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house."
"What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years? The balls drop."
"Have you heard the one about the late pizza guy? Just gotta work on the delivery."
"An acquaintance of mine said that when she feels down she puts on a skirt that's too short, and it helps. Coincidentally, her wearing a skirt that's too short also helps me when I'm down."
"* Pogoing Outside Your Window ~ Are... You... Sure... You... Don't... Want.... A... Second... Date?"