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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."

"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""

"I used to work with this black lady who had one arm and one leg... ...we called her Elbony"

"In a Mediterranean restaurant...(xpost /r/puns) What did the sick chef say to the bus boy? ""Oh man, I feelafal"""

"Thank you to the brave tree who sacrificed its life so that I could have this giant receipt from CVS for purchasing a pack of Dentyne Ice."

"Why are a prostitute and a teacher so similar? They both get screwed"

"Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS4 in return."

"I thought my wife was happy to fully repair my jeans. Or at least sew its seams."

"Education is a team effort There's no 'i' in 'illiteracy'!"

"What did the hungry computer programmer say? All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble."