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Joke of the Day
"The rotation of the earth really makes my day."
Next Joke
"I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away."
"Jack and Jill went up the hill So Jack can bang Jill's fanny. Jack came down with quite a frown Because Jill's a fucking tranny."
"One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home."
"Highway Driving 101: Left Lane: People in a hurry, People who can drive. Right Lane: Elderly People, Asians, Women, Dogs, Infants."
"I had loads of bird seed as well as loads of parrots with headaches. Trying to hold onto all the bird seed but the parrots ate 'em all"
"It's called courting because you will need lawyers later."
"[Baby trying to say first words] Baby: b..bu Me: cmon son Baby: bu..bu..s Wife: Yes sweetheart Baby: Bush did 9/11 Me[tearing up]: He knows"
"Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues."
"Princess Peach has been kidnapped so often, I'm beginning to think she might be Liam Neeson's daughter."