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Joke of the Day

"Highway Driving 101: Left Lane: People in a hurry, People who can drive. Right Lane: Elderly People, Asians, Women, Dogs, Infants."

"As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them"

"What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !"

"Netflix: Want to keep watching? Me: Do we really need to do this? Netflix: It's just, it's been 75 hours and I can hear your kids crying."

"Did you hear the news about the CEO of Ford? He was seen with an escort..."

"Did you hear about the pair of university professors who got sued for sexual harassment? They were two lecturers."

"Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc? A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!"

"What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups? a segreGATOR"

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."

"She was only a lumberjack's daughter ... ... but she always gave me wood."