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Joke of the Day

"I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away."

"What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common? They both worry about the position of colons."

"What comes after 69? Mouthwash"

"Why can't two Asians make a Caucasian? Because two wongs don't make a white."

"What do you call a... What do you call a powered scooter in cow country? A mooooooooooped"

"What do you call a small dog that can store food? Pupperware"

"So. I'm gonna tell you guys a little about my sex life."

"I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer."

"Whats 12 inches long and drives women crazy? [NSFW] A still born..."

"My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely but is best appreciated at a distance."