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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues."

"April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"If you dont believe in Oral Sex, keep your mouth shut"

"What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in."

"19 and 20 got into a fight... Now they're facing 123 years on disturbing the peace."

"to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the ""shout"" song says ""a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"""

"I wish I could go like Saddam Hussein did. Hanging out with his people"

"Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high."

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."