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Joke of the Day

"Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything."

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Who eats parsley?"

"What is the slowest ship? A snail boat."

"You know what is funny? Not this sub..."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea"

"What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college? ""Bye, son."""

"What water does Snake drink? Big Voss."

"So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious."

"I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet But it turns out it was just brownian lotion."

"What type of overalls does Mario wear? Denim denim denim."