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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water? He thought they would lay hard boiled eggs."

"What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer"

"Man buns are just the beginning, next thing you know it'll be ok for men to have anything on their heads, like a goat or a small child"

"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"

"I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9."

"I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas."

"The Great Yarn Race **Joe:** Did you hear about the great yarn race? **Jane:** No. Who won? **Joe:** Well, they had to weave their selves through the obstacles and in the end, it was a tie."

"They say you can't skip leg day Ironically it is because of leg day that you can't skip."

"3 women went to a bar... And they wanted to know how lose they are.. * The first one slid in a hotdog * The second slid in a cucumber * And the third one went down the bar stool"

"I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning... I just think it's a waste of thyme."