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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas."

"Isn't it amazing that your wallet is always so close to your ass...but somehow never smells bad?"

"I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three. He started counting. ""Uno! Dos!"" And then he was gone. Without a tres."

"Back in my day, Nintendo Wii meant you peed your pants because you wouldn't move for hours playing Super Mario Bros."

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it!"

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back seat of the oven."

"Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?"

"What are the advanteges of a long distance relationship? All four people are happy."

"Hamster PickUp Line? If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say ""Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"""

"What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink? A Watermelon..."