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Joke of the Day

"Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person? None"

"No, autocorrect, I'm not ""pooping"" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it."

"What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday? A vaccation"

"I don't know what Germany's favorite letter is but I can definitely tell you it's... Not C."

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"

"Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City? They keep telling me to stop asking..."

"I want to open a gay poker bar. And call it ""The space of AIDS"""

"I only wash my hands when other dudes are in the bathroom."

"The Welsh came up with the idea for sheep intestine condoms. The English decided to remove the rest of the sheep first."