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Joke of the Day

"I only wash my hands when other dudes are in the bathroom."

"It's a shame that most things aren't pies. More things should be pies."

"[First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don't think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*"

"What happened to the Chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his nose"

"I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled ""Fleas"". Adam had'em."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza can have ham and cheese together."

"You're a big internet fan arn't you? Yes I really get a buzz out of it!"

"I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said... ""Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."""

"What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime? Econoclasts."

"People say ambidextrous people contradict themselves. On the other hand, I disagree."