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Joke of the Day

"The Welsh came up with the idea for sheep intestine condoms. The English decided to remove the rest of the sheep first."

"Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already."

"Me: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes? Her: No. Besides, my eyes are blue. Me: No wonder nobody's ever told you..."

"I overcooked some pasta earlier - it got all soggy and mushy. Making the best of a bad situation, I put it in a mug and tried to down it. I soon gave up though - it was an act of *Fusilli Tea*."

"A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME AGE ADDRESS etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ''Yes.''"

"Why did the soviet plane crash? It was stalin"

"Those stickers of families you see on the back of mini-vans are like menus.. For sexual predators."

"Why are manhole covers round? Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."

"What do you call a group of babies? an Infantry"

"If you are reading this, you are not Floyd Mayweather."