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Joke of the Day
"Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories."
Next Joke
"I'm afraid that my best friend is developing an addiction to brake fluid. I've called him out on it, but he says he can stop anytime."
"How did the Scot die? He got kilt."
"An innovative new alternative to ironing your clothes Look shitty"
"""Honey, why are there broken condoms on the backyard?"" And that's when his wife replied shouting: ""I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING THE KIDS THAT!"""
"Too many TV ads about how you can remove blood stains off clothes with detergents & none about how you can hide the body? Where's the logic?"
"What smells like pork? Kermits finger"
"My friend Eric is having some real issues and shit is real bad for him... He's constipated"
"Risky behavior in my 20s involved sex drugs & alcohol. At 30, ""risky"" is eating spicy food after 9pm and not lifting w/ my knees."
"Sonic the Hedgehog sells his soul to the Devil. Gotta go Faust!"