119004

Joke of the Day

"Risky behavior in my 20s involved sex drugs & alcohol. At 30, ""risky"" is eating spicy food after 9pm and not lifting w/ my knees."

Next Joke
 
"How I feel when watching youtube... I dont mind the buffer ... I dont mind the adds... But when the ads buffer... I suffer"
"Why does Snoop Dawg need an umbrella?? Fo Drizzle."
"Mall cop wasn't going to let me park in the handicapped space. Then I showed him pictures of me dancing."
"What are goosebumps for? To slow down speeding geese!"
"What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$? Yeah."
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
"Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist? She over doses"
"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"
"What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen Talking."