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Joke of the Day

"Walking down the street I was walking home form work and I saw a bee crawling on the grass. I was thinking of stepping on it, then I decided 'ehh I'll let it be'"

"ME: The Wizard told me to choose between a good memory and a big dick GIRL : Wow.. Which did you pick? ME: I can't remember."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then? Well I saw this light at the window...!"

"Welcome to Insults Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you're not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You'd probably like that"

"Excuse me -are you a psychic hooker? **cuz you just blew my mind.** *full credit: gavin mcginnes via streetboners blog from about 5 years ago.*"

"Why did the dog die? It had Barkinsons"

"The job hunt is going great I just spent 45 minutes applying online for a position at a company called ""Commercial Space Available."""

"You play the cards life deals you. They are Monopoly cards. You are a small pewter dog and you have won second prize in a beauty contest."

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."

"What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !"