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Joke of the Day

"I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops."

"My doctor had a plate of McDonalds food that was a year old to show people that it never rots. The burger was dry but the fries were decent."

"Two zombies, Greg and John, are sitting in the cemetery. Greg says: ""Didn`t Peter also want to come?"" John answers: ""Yes, but he is late."""

"If Fetty Wap is ever convicted of a crime... He could change his name to ConFetty."

"PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people."

"Getting my cat to ""LOL"" is a lot harder than it looks on the internet."

"Say what you want about Floyd Mayweather He can't read it anyway"

"What sound does a Hispanic pacman make? Guac-a Guac-a!"

"Where do puppies go when they die? Back into the microwave so I can get in another round."

"I'm 89% certain I'm technically still dating at least 3 women from the late 90's early 2000's cause I left for beer and never came back"