156294

Joke of the Day

"What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars? Date Simon Cowell."

"Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun? Because they're not real."

"Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"humpy dumpy yo mom is like humpy dumpy first she gets hump then she gets dumped"

"Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a child? Well he is back in town and wants you to give him a call."

"Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A: Roberto."

"I met a dyslexic woman at a bar last night... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"Flight Attendant: ""Here is the extra blanket you asked for."" Me: ""Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"""

"At what time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tenish."