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Joke of the Day

"At what time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tenish."

"What do amputees and cricket have in common? Stumps"

"Freddie Mercury: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me Chorus of Dads: HI JUST A POOR BOY, I'M DAD! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY"

"How does a farmer count cows? with a cow-calculator."

"I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle."

"Why does the Catholic Church protect paedophiles? Because the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam."

"What's green and invisible? This cabbage"

"Customs officials in Europe recently seized a shipment of cocaine that was addressed to the Vatican. Which can only mean that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford just received a giant box of communion wafers."

"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."

"I just read an article in the newspaper about how 60% of adults still live with their parents. I was like ""OMG Mum did you read this???"""