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Joke of the Day

"not doing the peanut butter and the penis trick with the dog anymore. My son caught me and wants to know why my face is in the dog's crotch"

"Why can't anyone tell my dads fat? Cause he grew up in Pawtucket."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"6 pack abs on a guy are nice but it probably means that he won't get drunk & rob a convenient store of cheese curls w/me at 3am, so no."

"What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? The Pilot.... you racist fucks"

"Why don't Muslims teach driving and sex ed. on the same day? They don't want to wear the camel out."

"I'm not looking at your ass, I'm admiring your back pocket."

"Next time you're at the bar, ask the bartender for a Ryan Lochte When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte? Just say ""I don't know, make something up"""

"How many black people does it take to start a riot? One less than before"

"The best thing about having a penis is .. Sharing it with people who don't have one :P"