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Joke of the Day

"My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces."

"*Hits Rock Bottom* Dwayne Johnson: I have a boyfriend."

"Boss ""Are you high?"" Me ""If I was high could I do this?"" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"""

"Its gone viral Bird flu - 45 million dead chickens and turkeys."

"What do you call a gay guy who gives blowjobs? A butt-head"

"What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese."

"If Adrian Peterson played baseball, how would he bat? Switch Hitter"

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can actually finish a race"

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!"