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Joke of the Day
"Two guys walk into a bar. Which was dumb, because the second one should have ducked!"
Next Joke
"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? Take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way!"
"What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!"
"What do you call a man with 6,022 x 10^23 dollars? A Moleionaire"
"I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues."
"What did dick say to the condom? I'm going in cover me !"
"A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet."
"Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]"
"Why do you call an angry bear? A grrrrrrrizzly bear"
"My credit card was stolen today I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. So far he's spending way less than my wife does."