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Joke of the Day

"I like to write ""made you look"" on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots."

"What does Jeb Bush say on the toilet? Please crap"

"Oscar Pistorius really wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it."

"If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all ""I still haven't gotten my period."""

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb? Because, they're so darn stupid!"

"Searched for a PI service in my area... Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with..."

"I find it disappointing that the word ""stealth"" doesn't have a silent letter in it."

"How do you make a dog sound like a cat? You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; ""Meoooow""."

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""