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Joke of the Day

"See the problem with the left is that... the wrong people are getting the abortions."

"Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens."

"What do you call a horse at night? A Nightmare"

"Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood."

"I did some LSD and watched a candle burn all night. It was wicked."

"What's the difference between men and women? Actually, there is a vas deferens between the two genders."

"If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though."

"The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something."

"It's not premarital sex If you never get married"

"8 out of 6 people think I'm terrible at math."