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Joke of the Day

"The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something."

"Whats worse than eating 10 oysters out of your girlfriends vagina? Realising you only put 9 in"

"What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White? Shaking Bad."

"Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot."

"I object to female genital mutilation. It is hard enough find a clitoris with having to scrabble through the skip bin behind a Somali mosque."

"polish priest sacked by the Vatican...... Well that's really taken the shine off the pope :)"

"Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!"

"The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. ""It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope"" said Jose, age 6."

"""Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me."" [whole room] ""AFTER ME"" ""Ok fellas, lets start here"""

"What the difference between a pancake? It tastes better with jam."