155857

Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Subaru used to be called Subalu? But then it moved to Japan."

"I have a very defined ab. That's not a typo, I only have a single ab"

"TIFU when my parents weren't home. turns out it is really hard getting your dick out of a dvd once you get erect"

"[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles."

"Excuse me, miss. I'm sure you hear this everyday but... ... do you know where the nearest McDonald's is?"

"I mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later"

"How do Mexicans keep their food warm? Chicken Fajitas."

"""Sorry I'm late, but let me explain."" -The inventor of the snooze button at the initial presentation"

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"