24416

Joke of the Day

"[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital"

"What did the brown dwarf say to the bartender? I'd like a Corona, please."

"The fact Michael Jackson had to ask Annie if she was OK nearly 100 times in four minutes makes me think she probably wasn't OK."

"How many Karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? [repost] I don't care. I'm just doing this for the upvotes, but I think the other guy said ten... or 500... something like that."

"mean while, while you were ""Gaming "", i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman's arms"

"Why couldn't Hitler change a lightbulb? It was just out of his reich."

"Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn't made me look insane 10,000 times."

"4-year-old: I put my Barbie in the tanning bed. Me: You don't have a Barbie tanning bed. 4: Me: *sprints to the toaster*"

"They're predicting record highs for Wednesday. In other news the weather will be hotter than usual."

"What pokemon would you catch in Antarctica? Freezing."